Christmas Eve

Every year it seems Jared and I talk about helping the homeless in some way, but for some reason it has never come together.  I was determined this year to do something to bring my children face to face with those who struggle with the blessings we take for granted. Charlottesville is not a big enough city to have the kind of homelessness that larger more metropolitan areas do, like Minneapolis for example.  It was there I learned where to reach the people who were struggling and asking for help in the shelters, the food banks or simply on the streets.  I have given in all those settings to those in need, but Charlottesville has proved to be a little trickier.  I know the streets where individuals tend to stop passerby's asking for food, money, any kind of help.  I have seen mostly men, some young enough to make me wonder why they have given up at such a young age assuming that their youth should be enough to keep them off  the streets. But I remind myself of what I truly believe, that is it's not my place to judge why they are there, my job to to simply give, no questions or strings attached. I have also seen a young woman missing both of her legs standing in shorts revealing two prosthetics and another woman who in addition to thanking me for the money I gave her, engaged me in a conversation about where she lived.  She had a tent down the road where she slept with two blankets underneath her body and three to cover her and keep the cold out.  It poured rain the night before and she woke up cold and sopping wet.  She only had a few teeth but talked rapidly as she described her living situation and like most people signed off with "God bless you". I can't really forget these faces or these conversations so I considered packing a meal with money and driving around until we found enough of them again, but in the back of my mind I was wanting the boys to have a little more face time with those in need that the 30 seconds at the  red light would allow.  I searched until I found a shelter that served daily meals to the homeless and signed our family up for Christmas Eve lunch.  The shelter was 50 minutes from our house, and was providing shelter for 12 children, about 25 women, and 38 men.  They also provide these meals to anyone in the community who is hungry, not just those staying in the shelter. Before our scheduled time to serve, we stopped at the grocery store to pick up everything from diapers, and laundry detergent to fresh fruit and vegetables to a few games the boys wanted to buy. When we showed up we found that another family had donated Dominos Pizzas and cakes, so we got busy with learning the how-to's from the two women who were assigned the be servers that week.  We learned that the residents are assigned a new job every two weeks as part of the contract to stay in the shelter. The boys kept asking me who was homeless among these kitchen workers and when I told them they all were, I could see the surprise in their eyes and watched the wheels turning in their head. Outside of the missing or decaying teeth, the boys saw in these faces nothing that would indicate that these people didn't have a home. Once the doors opened the dining hall filled with roughly 50 people, including men, women, young children and one teenager who happened to be the same age as Caleb. While I was helping a little girl blow up her balloon for Jesus' birthday a woman gave me a little pssssst letting me know there was a prayer being offered. Oops! With amen, the serving began.  C., L. and G. did a great job smiling and making eye contact and wishing each person they served a merry Christmas, while Jared and Jonah delivered waters with equal interest. This was something we had talked with them about on the way over, reminding that sometimes the best gift you can give to someone is your attention. In the end as we were helping to clean up and bringing the bags of food and supplies in we received a handful of hugs, words of gratitude and as expected a "God bless you". I think we all felt that this was the perfect way to start off the eve of our Saviors birth.

This photo is from Mission Home's website of the dining hall.

Date with Jonah

Several weeks ago Jonah decided he wanted to use some of his Valentine's Day coupons from last February.  (I give them coupons in their coupon book every year, and they have to use the coupons or "lose" them by the next Valentine's Day.)  This time Jonah, specifically wanted to use his (very valuable) coupon to stay home one day from school, combine it with the coupon to "have a date with mom," and combine it with yet a third coupon for spending $20 on whatever he wanted.  This was going to be a great day!  We initially had plans to make a one-hour drive to Culpepper VA to visit Em C., but her dad had an unexpected health scare, so we postponed the get together.  Jonah was bummed to 1) not be able to watch a movie in the car during the drive, and 2) play big brother to E.'s youngest, but Jonah and I opted instead to go to lunch just the two of us, go to a matinee movie, and spend his $20 on another stuftie from his favorite toy store that recently moved to a new location: Shenanigan's.  He opted for a Five Guys hamburger (this boy LOVES a hamburger more than any other at my table), but he still shocked me by devouring it on the five minute drive to the theater. We decided on the movie Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs II and were utterly shocked when we were the only two people in the entire theater!  This has never happened to me and Jonah was equally surprised as this possibility has never crossed his seven year old mind.  But it was kinda fun, having them play the movie just for us.

After the movie I asked my iPhone ("Siri") how to get to Shenanigans' new location and I gave it a 50/50 chance of her directing me to the right location.  (Siri and I don't get along particularly well...  I have a love hate relationship with this woman on my iPhone as she has utterly failed me in the past. Jared suspects user error.....I maintain my innocence!)  We did manage to find the new store easily and Jonah was thrilled that the Playmobile pirate was still there to greet us.

Once inside he prowled around to check out how things might have changed or stayed the same as in the old location.  The Brio train track was still there, the dolls were still in a glass case, the puzzles and Klutz books are still in the back, and the stuffed animals were still in their white cubbies.  Little had changed, actually. Now I will point out that Jonah easily has 100 or more stuffed animals that are in his room and 100+ more that have already been moved to the attic because if I'm honest here, I couldn't handle the clutter.  But he loves to play a game he calls "stufties" which is basically playing with stuffed animals, setting them all up in his bed, creating adventures for them, and designing homes for them to live in. Because he's always been more enveloped in imaginary play than any of the others, I give in to this desire of his to have more stuffed animals to take care of. So after mulling over his options for quite while he settled on a St. Bernard that he promptly named Beethoven.

These final photos have nothing to do with our date day, but everything to do with the personality of this boy. He likes that he is small....he recently came home and said he was not happy because he was no longer the shortest in his class.  He loves cuddling up in small places like Ruby's bed, laundry baskets, in-between parents or brothers and he likes to be doted on like I imagine all youngest children do. And really, how can you not wrap this little nugget up!  I love spending one-on-one time with him any chance I get.

Thanksgiving and then some

Instead of giving each of these events their own post I'll sum up a few of the happenings that have occurred over the past 3 weeks.

First off, it was Thanksgiving and the kids were already scheduled to be out of school on Wednesday, but because of the threat of a storm that never materialized (Virginia can be annoying this way), school was cancelled on Tuesday as well.  I was not prepared to have 4 people at home that day and after scheduling and taking Liam to the doctor to check on a swollen gland, I needed to run some errands.  Before I left I told the boys that they were in charge of dinner that evening, and to call with what they needed me to bring home.  So when the phone rang and they asked me to bring two pounds of shrimp home I laughed out loud!  Leave them to their own devices, and they go for the gold.  How could I refuse?  I brought home the shrimp and unloaded the groceries while they put together "Garlic Shrimp in Coconut Lime Tomato Sauce" from Mel's Kitchen Cafe (www.melskitchen.com), along with roasted brussel sprouts and rice.  It was divine and I was so proud of them and they were deservedly proud of themselves.

Thanksgiving was a change this year in that we planned to spend it with one of Jared's coworkers and they only requested we bring a veggie.  That didn't sit well with me because I like to cook, so I offered (in addition to the veggies), that we also bring rolls, our favorite fruit salad: pomegranate, grapefruit, and blackberry, and Liam was interested in making his famous pecan bars.

That morning I went on my traditional run and Jared joined me for the first mile or so with Ruby.  He ventured back home to work in the yard (something he admittedly prefers over running) and spent the next several hours cutting down dead trees and stacking wood, with some help from the boys.

Liam got to work on his pecan bars, for dessert:

In the late afternoon we made our way over to the home of E and M.  They have three adult children who all have a variety of professions including a daughter who is a tattoo artist, a son who is a music producer and former bar bouncer, and a daughter who works for a public interest group in DC.  We have known their family for years, and Jared was reminding the boys on the drive over that the tattoo artist once did a large pastel portrait of the boys.  When Jared said, "you'll never guess what she does now," Jonah quickly guessed that she must be either a zoo keeper or a paleontologist!  (Jonah wants to be one of these when he grows up.)  That story was shared at dinner and brought a nice roar of laughter.

They have a music studio in their house and this is where the boys spent nearly two hours jamming on the instruments.  By the end of the evening most of the adults had made their way down to see the magic in the room.  Liam had discovered the bass guitar and Caleb and Gavin took turns on both the drums and keyboard.  They were unbelievable and jaws were dropping as the boys played portions of Drops of Jupiter by Train, Lean on Me by Bill Withers, Don't Stop Believing by Journey, various Van Halen selections, and jazzed-up versions of many of their piano songs.  A music studio has been in our plans for some time, but we realize the time is now and we better get a move on it! We had a nice night enjoying good company and the use of their magical studio!

The next morning we headed to Richmond for a long anticipated afternoon trip to play Laser Tag. Liam had gone with some friends for a birthday celebration earlier in the month and the three other boys have been jealous ever since. We also planned on getting our Christmas tree on the trip back, but we never dreamed we'd pick it out in the random lot next to the laser tag building in Richmond.  But when we arrived to play we realized that we needed a reservation, which we didn't have, and we had about 45 minutes to kill and figured we might as well support the local Christian Community Church and make our purchase there.

The next morning was tree decoration time and the boys got totally into in and by the time I made my way into the project the entire fireplace mantel was converted from is fall theme to all things Christmas. We needed a smaller tree this year because of the new piano, so it did make decorating a simple and quick task.  Caleb and I got  the lights strung and per tradition the boys took to the decorating.  They always love to pull out the variety of miscellaneous, mismatched, collected ornaments that have accumulated over the years.  This year's new addition was four ornaments shaped like ski boots.  Instead of the traditional ball ornaments I requested a "fruit" tree this year, so all the apples, pears, and grapes were hung and by the end, true to form, Caleb was tossing clumps of grapes that didn't need to be hung, just placed, to Gavin who was throwing them randomly onto the tree.  They thought it was hilarious, and it's a good thing I'm not a perfectionist because those randomly thrown grape clusters are still there adorning the branches.

 Gavin cracking himself up and getting ready to toss another bundle of grapes:

My favorite tradition of Christmas is puling out our puzzling table.  It usually doesn't get put away until the early spring because we are all drawn to sit for a time place placing a few pieces here and there.

This month will fly by as it always does, but we've spent a lot of time talking about what we want to give of ourselves this year.  (As Jonah describes it, "gifts of love".)  Each night we sing a Chirstmas carol together and share at least one act of kindness we have done for someone that day and place a piece of straw in a little manger an old BYU roommate gave me several years ago.  The first two nights both Jonah and Gavin forgot about this tradition and were devastated that they couldn't put straw in the manger, but both of them, Jonah especially, have made it a point to thank teachers, vote for their friends to get special awards in class, make someone's bed, etc. - the list goes on.  Gavin even came up to me in private to tell me he'd like to use his well-saved (never spent) money to buy the three brothers new iPods, but he wouldn't have enough money to buy one for himself, but that was o.k. he figured.  He was very disappointed when I told him that his generosity was remarkable, but I couldn't let him actually spend that kind of money on his brothers. I'm grateful for those moments of pure kindness because there are many days filled with selfish acts and it's during those times that I can then remind them of moments when their hearts were pure and how much better they felt.  It's a process, shedding the urges of the natural man, and I'm grateful to be learning and teaching with this crew of boys and men. 

Kids' Market

Each year our elementary school (Meriwether Lewis Elementary) holds a Kids' Market where the children come to sell things that they have made. The first year we did this, Caleb was in the 1st grade and the only Harris boy in school.  He was totally into paper airplanes at the time, so he made a few for an example and then took blank unfolded paper to offer up his folding skills for $.25/plane.  The next year both Caleb and Liam were at Meriwether - in 2nd and kindergarten - and we decided to give cinnamon rolls a try.  In order to make it a legitimate kids' market item, I make the dough before they get home from school and they help roll out the dough, make the filling, and frost them. The two trays of cinnamon rolls we brought that year were sold for $1.50 each and were gone within the first hour.  After that we decided two things:  1) we were not charging enough, and 2) we needed to make more.

So in the ensuing six years the Harris boys have sold homemade cinnamon rolls (most people from the South call them cinnamon buns) and started charging $2.50 each.  Yet, despite increasing the number of pans from two to four we are still selling out before the night is over.  We have many repeat visitors, mostly teachers and staff, who are giddy when we arrive and request them to be wrapped up for the next morning. Then there are the kids who pull money out of their own little wallets to enjoy them right then and there.  One little boy this year was pulling money out of his velcro camouflaged wallet and picked one that was nearly as big as his face.

I'm embarrassed to say how much they made this year, but being that they only had to split the earnings two ways for the first time (since Liam has moved on to middle school), it was quite the haul.

Here is the boy with his velcro wallet.  His sister was the first to buy one, then his mom, and then he made his way over!

Fall 2013 Soccer

The first half of soccer season #7 has finally taken its winter break and being that we are opting out of basketball again this season, we are free from weekly sports practices and games until March!  This has been a busy fall season, with the four boys on four different teams.  But it's also the first year in many that Jared isn't coaching one of the boys' teams, which has helped with the logistics.  Each week there are a sum total of 8 practices - teammate carpooling has saved us - and each Saturday we try to figure out how to get to 4 games, which was no small feat now that Caleb is playing travel soccer.  Remarkably, so far we have managed to handle the games on our own with the exception of one weekend when Jared was traveling to Illinois and I had to farm Liam out to another teammate.  During this fall season I have also made 4 double batches of Rice Krispie Treats per request when we are assigned to bring snacks for that week's game. Who would have thought at 41 I would have mastered such a delicacy!  This was the first season I remember where we only had one week of rain which cancelled practices and games.  Usually I can count on a handful of cancelations...something the parents secretly enjoy.

We'll start with Jonah who is playing in a U10 (10 and under) Recreation league and his favorite position is goalkeeper. The first time he played that position he let in two goals, but blocked a couple as well.  I thought for sure he would come undone after missing the first goal, but he didn't seem phased in the least.  Nor did he seemed bothered when he let the second goal in and after the game he came up to me so proud wondering how I thought he did.  Of course I thought he did great, but I was even more impressed that he was able to brush off the goals he let in and keep working to block any he could.  Jonah is quite an aggressive player and never fears the bigger kids due to all the play time he gets in the back yard with the big brothers, and also from "playing up" into U10 Rec last spring with Gavin.

Jonah's two twin buddies are usually at Liam's game as they have a big brother who plays on the team with Liam.  Here they are sitting on top of the twins car chatting about who knows what and eating snacks.  Life doesn't get much better than this for a 7yr old!

Gavin is playing on a U10 Challenge team - his first time playing "select" soccer requiring a tryout (one level up from Jonah).  The difference is, he now has two practices per week (like Liam) and they get a more professional shirt, shorts and socks to boot.  He's fast on the field and good with his foot work.  The tongue is the key!  It's never inside the cage.... always as active participant in any of Gavin's activities.  He's had a bit of a rough go with a coach that has been our least favorite coach in all of our years of soccer, but Gavin has kept a positive attitude and tried his best with this team.

Liam has had a terrific season with his U12 challenge team.  He's playing with a few kids from his team last year and they are all amazing athletes and good friends too.  They happen to be the oldest ones on the team and at first Liam was unsure if the younger kids were going to be an asset or hold them back.  But they have turned out to be a really strong team with mostly ties and wins, which compared to last year - when the only games they won the entire season were in the tournaments when they took the trophy (classic underdog story) - is a huge improvement. Liam is a tenacious fighter on the field, always trying to anticipate where he needs to be and unwilling to give up when it's a one on one fight for possession of the ball.  He and his teammates have great passing skills, a sign of a more advanced team, making me wonder if they are not actually a secret travel team.

Caleb is playing travel for the first time on SOCA's U14 Classic team which means most of his games are within 30-45 minutes of Charlottesville and there was only one regular season Sunday game to miss (as well as a few Sunday tournament days).  It has been a fantastic experience.  This team started out with boys who for the most part had never met, but before mid-season they had bonded so well they were setting up times to hang out (or whatever middle schoolers call "play-dates") when they weren't playing soccer together.  Caleb loves playing striker and is fantastic at making beautiful cross passes and he's also the designated corner kick guy. Caleb is not as aggressive on the field compared to his brothers, but his strength is in his calculated moves that shift the ball to where it needs to go, and he does a great job communicating with his teammates on the field. 

In the beginning of the season, I knew we'd need to have the conversation with his coach about missing Sunday games and I was a little nervous about it.  The week before, one of Caleb's friends from our ward who was also playing Classic had a tough experience with breaking the news to his coach.  Imagine my relief when I walked over to Coach Paul to talk with him about missing Sunday games to have him tell me it wouldn't be a problem at all, after all there was only one scheduled Sunday game and two tournaments.  He then went on to tell me what a great leader and positive teammate Caleb was on the team.  I was relieved to not have been berated over missing Sunday games like my friend was, and to learn that Caleb was already shining.