Tuesday, February 26, 2013
Back pain follow-up
I have done my best to take things a little easier the last several days and it has not been easy....which says a lot about how dependent I am on exercise. But after my PT appointment today where I was worked over (think deep tissue massage and chiropractic adjustment.....or at least what I've heard about the chiropractic adjustments being that I have never even been to a C.) he determined that I do not have sports-related over-use type of injury, I have a stiffness problem in the iliosacral joint whose culprit is most likely..................are you really ready, because I laughed out loud when he told me: too much sitting in the car! I had mentioned how when I drive for too long my glut and hamstring start to scream, but little did he know just exactly how much time I spend every week behind the wheel of the Odyssey. Literally 5 days for a tank of gas and each day a minimum of 2 hours, and longer...up to 3-4 on some days. That is a lot of car sitting and even though I try to get out when I'm waiting for lessons or practices, or scout events, the poor positioning in the car has taken it's toll. And the real problem is that this lovely little problem arose during a time when we took the winter sports season off and soccer started up last week and now I'm in a whole new world of driving to the 10th power with the addition of 5 soccer practices each week. So now I get to stretch more using techniques I've never tried, and change the way I sit in the car, but most importantly I'm going to have to rely on Jared, who before any of this happened said that he'll be more free to help with the carpools......tenure was right on time!!
Monday, February 25, 2013
SHE Auction
For the past 6 years, Jared has played with Blues Jam (the "Darden band") for a benefit concert/auction that the Women's MBA students sponsor and give all proceeds to the women's shelter here in Charlottesville. This year Caleb spontaneously joined him for a rehearsal when I was taking the other boys to b-day parties for friends or play-dates. The drummers came home and told me that Caleb took a few turns on the drums and the band asked if he wanted to join them for the concert! I was thrilled for him and last night I got to watch this oldest son of mine play three, THREE songs of the 8 total songs of the night, perfectly. I mean, think of this....there he is counting off the songs and holding the rhythms of all the musicians and then bringing the songs to a close! All those wonderful band members - good friends all, and some old enough to be his grandpa - were so thrilled and impressed with him. We invited some friends in our neighborhood (the Gorman's) who are music aficionados and who have been taking Caleb to orchestra this entire year, to join us. It was also Gavin's turn to accompany me for the evening of fancy clothes and a nice meal.... he was mostly looking forward to a Shirley Temple, but they had no cherry juice, just cranberry, so we compromised and he still thought it was the best drink ever! So we all had a great time watching the "boys" perform and Jared even managed to get Gavin up there for a little tambourine work for Mustang Sally at the end of the night. A few photos to remember the evening:
This was also Liam's first time doing "night" babysitting. When we got home we found him playing some game on the iPad and Jonah sound asleep. He then came down and told us to rush upstairs to look at Jonah and here is what we found......Priceless
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| First song for Caleb: "Get out of my life woman" |
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| A little in-between song planning/banter... |
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| "Mustang Sally" with Gavin on tambourine |
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| Can a kid get cuter?? |
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| Jared and the two Darden student back-up singers |
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| Donning the owl sleep-mask ... upside down :) |
Sunday, February 24, 2013
Festival
For the past 8 years in the month of February the boys have performed (for two judges) in piano Festival. And today for the first time all 4 boys are prepped with the required two songs and performed them during the same group time slot. This would be Jonah's first time at festival and Caleb's 7th. When we walked in with 5 minutes to spare......true Harris fashion, we had the usual comments about if they are all ours and if they all play piano. The majority of parents there have either one or maybe two kids. After everyone sat down a little 5 year old Chinese boy got up and played beautifully.....very automatic, precise, and in perfect form. I could tell that Jonah was a little nervous knowing that he was to go next and his pieces were much simpler. Now he's been only playing for 6 months and of all our boys has the most stage freight. So I knew he was dying inside and I was so proud that he confidently handed his music to the judges and made his way through both of his pieces perfectly! Oh, the look of relief on his face was priceless! Next to go was Gavin who nailed his pieces and sat down with the same relief, then Liam, whose songs I'm partial to this year as they are amazingly beautiful, went up with his typical nerves of steel and played his songs perfectly (he did tell me he made one mistake, which I did hear, but very minor). Caleb was the last to play in the entire session and he was a little more nervous than I have seen him in years past and this resulted in a few minor errors in the first song, but he kept his composure and then the second he played absolutely flawless. Caleb sneaked a peek at his judges score and it looks like he got one superior and one excellent, and we expect that the other will follow suit, or some might get what is called a "double superior" when both judges give a superior rating.
We celebrated with our first trip to Great Harvest Bread (a flashback from my college days at BYU) where they boys were thrilled to receive a free slice of bread. We bought steamed milk from the coffee house next door and splurged with some GH scones and muffins. Yummy!
The next stop was to the piano shop in town, which I was reminded to never do again with all 4 boys. The cacophony of noise was comical. Picture all 4 boys playing on different grand pianos as I tried to talk to the guy and Jared wandered around in the store. At one point I told them they could not play unless they had the damper down but even then it was too much and we finally had to put the no playing at all rule down. We are still not sure what we'll get, but our piano tuner has been suggesting that it is time to move up being that we can't keep this piano in tune for more than 3 months at a time. Which is a real bummer as I love the sound of our Kawai.
Before we bid farewell to the songs they played them one more time for Jared to video and then again for Grannie Knight who loves listening to piano music more than almost anyone I know. We are in the process of considering moving out her Steinway upright which she has generously given us. She grew up with it and being that she is 92 years old, we think it is probably close to 100. It might not turn out to be a great piano to play on, but it will be fun to have in the music room (which doesn't actually exist yet....but I've got plans, oh do I have plans :) )
We celebrated with our first trip to Great Harvest Bread (a flashback from my college days at BYU) where they boys were thrilled to receive a free slice of bread. We bought steamed milk from the coffee house next door and splurged with some GH scones and muffins. Yummy!
The next stop was to the piano shop in town, which I was reminded to never do again with all 4 boys. The cacophony of noise was comical. Picture all 4 boys playing on different grand pianos as I tried to talk to the guy and Jared wandered around in the store. At one point I told them they could not play unless they had the damper down but even then it was too much and we finally had to put the no playing at all rule down. We are still not sure what we'll get, but our piano tuner has been suggesting that it is time to move up being that we can't keep this piano in tune for more than 3 months at a time. Which is a real bummer as I love the sound of our Kawai.
Before we bid farewell to the songs they played them one more time for Jared to video and then again for Grannie Knight who loves listening to piano music more than almost anyone I know. We are in the process of considering moving out her Steinway upright which she has generously given us. She grew up with it and being that she is 92 years old, we think it is probably close to 100. It might not turn out to be a great piano to play on, but it will be fun to have in the music room (which doesn't actually exist yet....but I've got plans, oh do I have plans :) )
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Back Pain at 40
I have been afraid of a strained, pulled, ruined back for years. I have seen how it debilitates people and forces them to stop doing activities they once loved. I have always been conscious about keeping my core as strong as possible (not easy after 4 c-sections actually), varying up what I do for exercise so as not to use a few muscles all the time, and trying to listen to my body, which has been yelling a little louder the last month. So part of me was not surprised when yesterday I was doing something I have probably done hundreds of times....."jump shots" from P90x. On the 3rd to last shot, I jumped and my back froze, seized, stopped mid-air, and my heart sank. I had no time to deal with it right then, so I forced myself to move to get into the car to get Caleb to his ride for school. The worst part was getting back out of the car after sitting, so I kept moving, which seemed to lessen the pain. I had to leave in one hour to teach two classes that would include 20 minutes of exercise each. I was not sure how I was going to pull this off, but somehow I managed with two naproxen and slower movements and an exercise routine that was only focused on strength training......no jumping, twisting, or quick movements involved.
But it was Wednesday and that meant that from 2:30-5:30 I was sitting in my car doing the drop-off, pick-up dance for two cello lessons, one group piano lesson, and one band rehearsal. After I made the last drop....Caleb to Jared for band rehearsal and was driving back home with a now screaming back, Jared called me and said, "you'r going to kill me, but do you think you could bring the djumbe to rehearsal, I forgot to grab it?" When I laughed out loud with that "are you kidding me" kind of laugh, he got the picture and told me it was fine and they would make due. Thank you Jared and a good thing as I'm sure I could not have handled another 20 minutes in the car.
Then the blessing that kept me hopeful and sane during the 3 hours of Wednesday routine: I was at the middle school waiting for Caleb to come out early ( he forgot, again) to get to cello and a mom was there who I have never seen at that time. She is a good friend...a great 40 year old friend :) and I told her about my back because she is a PT and I was hoping for some advice. Well, she gave it in the form of her own PT appointment that morning for her own pulled back! We have the same GP doctor, who is fantastic and told me the PT she went to was a specialist in back problems that that after the two hours they worked on her, she was feeling significantly better. So, I'm off to see Doctor Bruce and hope to leave with a plan that will result in a respite of pain and a guide for the future as I have always seen myself as one of those 80 year old mall walkers I spent time with on my mission in MN :)
But it was Wednesday and that meant that from 2:30-5:30 I was sitting in my car doing the drop-off, pick-up dance for two cello lessons, one group piano lesson, and one band rehearsal. After I made the last drop....Caleb to Jared for band rehearsal and was driving back home with a now screaming back, Jared called me and said, "you'r going to kill me, but do you think you could bring the djumbe to rehearsal, I forgot to grab it?" When I laughed out loud with that "are you kidding me" kind of laugh, he got the picture and told me it was fine and they would make due. Thank you Jared and a good thing as I'm sure I could not have handled another 20 minutes in the car.
Then the blessing that kept me hopeful and sane during the 3 hours of Wednesday routine: I was at the middle school waiting for Caleb to come out early ( he forgot, again) to get to cello and a mom was there who I have never seen at that time. She is a good friend...a great 40 year old friend :) and I told her about my back because she is a PT and I was hoping for some advice. Well, she gave it in the form of her own PT appointment that morning for her own pulled back! We have the same GP doctor, who is fantastic and told me the PT she went to was a specialist in back problems that that after the two hours they worked on her, she was feeling significantly better. So, I'm off to see Doctor Bruce and hope to leave with a plan that will result in a respite of pain and a guide for the future as I have always seen myself as one of those 80 year old mall walkers I spent time with on my mission in MN :)
Monday, February 18, 2013
Primary
On Sunday February 17th I will be officially released from my calling as the Primary President. I have served in this calling for 3 years and 3 days, to be exact, and despite the fact that I have felt my time was winding down, it was very hard to part with all of those wonderful children.
When I started in this calling we had close to 150 children and I knew most of them by their first name and the ones who looked too much like their siblings that were scattered in every other class, I would often call them by their last name to save myself some embarrassment. At this time we had about 3-4 nursery classes and almost every other class from Sunbeams to Valiant 11 had two separate classes to avoid having 12-14 kids/class. About 18 months into things, the ward split and that took us down to about 75 kids, a much more manageable number, but we have been growing at a decent pace ever since and have close to 100 kids again. It's a fair amount of work, but more than anything it's just plain old fun to be with them every Sunday to be reminded of the simple things in life.
I found all of this out last Sunday (the 10th) and I've been feeling fine about things until Thursday when I was on a morning run waiting for Caleb in piano. The first Sunday that I was officially the President, was Valentine's Day and every year I have told them of the experience I had several hours before getting the calling. I was sitting in Primary with my CTR 4 class and had an unexpected sense of deep and expansive love for all of these kids in Junior Primary, even ones that weren't in my class. My heart reached that point of bursting and tears came to my eyes and I seriously started thinking that this was and answer to my prayer about whether Jared and I should have another child. Then Jared told me that the Bishop had asked to meet with him and then wanted to come over to our house to meet with the both of us that night, and then I knew, I just knew in that deep part of myself where truth sits and does't budge. I was grateful for that experience because being the Primary President was not something I had ever considered myself doing. But I think that's why I'm sad today....it's Valentine's Day and kind of a dumb one because Jared is gone with Caleb to an orchestra rehearsal, Friday is booked with two concerts, Saturday will possibly bring snow and Caleb's jazz festival, swim practice, soccer tryouts, and the first child from the CTR 7 class to be baptized and the last Primary Welcome I will do, so that means we've planned to celebrate on Sunday the day I will officially get released and have to cry my eyes out telling the kids goodbye as I give them their 3rd Valentine Day Card and a heart shaped sugar cookie with pink frosting.
I have gone through 4 different Themes over the last 3 years and am a little disappointed that I don't get to spend this year with them for "I am a Child of God" because I feel it's this seemingly small part of the gospel that is key to everything they will ever need to know. If there is anything I would want them to learn from Primary it's that having a real relationship with Heavenly Father is the foundation from which their entire testimony can blossom. I know Heavenly Father knows me and loves me and because of that, I feel that if I will draw myself to him, he will guide me in all that I will ever do in this life. A little sappy, I know, but true none-the-less. Like I told the boys driving home from church the other night after a great Priesthood Preview where Caleb, as the Decon's Quorem President gave a fantastic talk on begin a deacon, there is nothing in this life that has filled me with as much joy as having an experience where I know I was a tool in God's hand, or that I was doing exactly what he wanted me to do with my life. So, if these kids can grow up to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father where they know he is keenly aware of their desires, fears, hopes and dreams, anxieties and inadequacies, and everything in between, then I believe they will do remarkable things in their lifetimes.
My next calling is to teach the 16-18 year olds and the first thing that came to my mind now that boys can leave on their missions at 18 years old and girls at 19, was the image of me teaching at the MTC in Provo, Utah about 18 years ago. I am very excited for this next phase in my church service!
Here is a photo of the Presidency at it's best (of note: Em Crane gets to carry the torch as the next President and she'll be FANTASTIC!):
When I started in this calling we had close to 150 children and I knew most of them by their first name and the ones who looked too much like their siblings that were scattered in every other class, I would often call them by their last name to save myself some embarrassment. At this time we had about 3-4 nursery classes and almost every other class from Sunbeams to Valiant 11 had two separate classes to avoid having 12-14 kids/class. About 18 months into things, the ward split and that took us down to about 75 kids, a much more manageable number, but we have been growing at a decent pace ever since and have close to 100 kids again. It's a fair amount of work, but more than anything it's just plain old fun to be with them every Sunday to be reminded of the simple things in life.
I found all of this out last Sunday (the 10th) and I've been feeling fine about things until Thursday when I was on a morning run waiting for Caleb in piano. The first Sunday that I was officially the President, was Valentine's Day and every year I have told them of the experience I had several hours before getting the calling. I was sitting in Primary with my CTR 4 class and had an unexpected sense of deep and expansive love for all of these kids in Junior Primary, even ones that weren't in my class. My heart reached that point of bursting and tears came to my eyes and I seriously started thinking that this was and answer to my prayer about whether Jared and I should have another child. Then Jared told me that the Bishop had asked to meet with him and then wanted to come over to our house to meet with the both of us that night, and then I knew, I just knew in that deep part of myself where truth sits and does't budge. I was grateful for that experience because being the Primary President was not something I had ever considered myself doing. But I think that's why I'm sad today....it's Valentine's Day and kind of a dumb one because Jared is gone with Caleb to an orchestra rehearsal, Friday is booked with two concerts, Saturday will possibly bring snow and Caleb's jazz festival, swim practice, soccer tryouts, and the first child from the CTR 7 class to be baptized and the last Primary Welcome I will do, so that means we've planned to celebrate on Sunday the day I will officially get released and have to cry my eyes out telling the kids goodbye as I give them their 3rd Valentine Day Card and a heart shaped sugar cookie with pink frosting.
I have gone through 4 different Themes over the last 3 years and am a little disappointed that I don't get to spend this year with them for "I am a Child of God" because I feel it's this seemingly small part of the gospel that is key to everything they will ever need to know. If there is anything I would want them to learn from Primary it's that having a real relationship with Heavenly Father is the foundation from which their entire testimony can blossom. I know Heavenly Father knows me and loves me and because of that, I feel that if I will draw myself to him, he will guide me in all that I will ever do in this life. A little sappy, I know, but true none-the-less. Like I told the boys driving home from church the other night after a great Priesthood Preview where Caleb, as the Decon's Quorem President gave a fantastic talk on begin a deacon, there is nothing in this life that has filled me with as much joy as having an experience where I know I was a tool in God's hand, or that I was doing exactly what he wanted me to do with my life. So, if these kids can grow up to have a relationship with their Heavenly Father where they know he is keenly aware of their desires, fears, hopes and dreams, anxieties and inadequacies, and everything in between, then I believe they will do remarkable things in their lifetimes.
My next calling is to teach the 16-18 year olds and the first thing that came to my mind now that boys can leave on their missions at 18 years old and girls at 19, was the image of me teaching at the MTC in Provo, Utah about 18 years ago. I am very excited for this next phase in my church service!
Here is a photo of the Presidency at it's best (of note: Em Crane gets to carry the torch as the next President and she'll be FANTASTIC!):
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| Emily Crane, Peggy Cleveland, Kayla Tibbets, Me |
Valentine's Day
This year we had to put off celebrating Valentine's Day until Sunday because the nightly schedule was so crazy from Thursday until we got home from church at 3:00. On Wednesday evening (V-day eve) I reminded the boys about the change of plans that had been talked about earlier in the week and like always, they were easy going about the shift...one of the many things I like about boys or at least my boys :) No drama when things don't work out as planned.....something I still work on!
So after church and a little nap for me after the cry fest and resulting headache from being released from Primary today (a post of its own is forth coming about this event), we got dinner going. I did come down to find that Jared had prepped the salmon, set the table, and had his purple cabbage special ready to go which was a welcomed sight. What ensued next was the best part of being in this family..... the two older boys know how to cook and I'm not talking about simple dishes like pasta and sauce or breakfasts, oh no. Both Caleb and Liam are well beyond that and can google a recipe, follow the directions, and make some incredible dishes. At the moment Caleb is making his favorite breakfast: Ebelskivers and I never enter the kitchen until they are completely done! On Super Bowl Sunday Liam made pecan bars which I made last year for Thanksgiving, and we all agreed that his were much better than mine and I will admit that when I made them the following week for a funeral, I asked him some advice like if he packed the brown sugar or not. In the moment I seriously could not believe that I was asking my 10 year old for cooking advice. Yet, despite my best efforts, Liam's were still voted best and I had to swallow my pride! So today we all worked in the kitchen making the remaining parts of the meal: strawberry soup, cheese scones, and orzo with mixed veggies and fresh parmesan. Per the tradition, we ate by candlelight, laughed at silly things, talked about how much we love being in our family, and were surprised with secret notes from Jonah whose phonetic spelling is priceless! I can always tell when the loving feeling start to flow because Jonah can't stop hugging me....it's very tender!
After dinner we moved to the table to play a game of Ticket to Ride Europe, a game that will be remembered best by Liam or me winning, Jared asking a million times if people could be more quiet and stop banging their cards on the table or clicking the Kendama in his ear or making any number of other annoying sounds, laughing at said annoying sounds, someone crying because they didn't win (we have about a 90% hit rate with this), Jonah losing interest at some point and moving to the floor to be with Ruby or changing teams if he sees his first pick is not going to pull off a win, and waiting for Jared or Liam to get the big 8-train tunnel worth 21 points. Now, so as to not be confused as this image of family game night may sound horrible, it is not....all of these things are what make it a Harris game night and we love it! Liam correctly predicted at dinner that because of this feeling he had "deep down" that he would be the winner and I on the other hand did not share that feeling and I came in 3rd. Gavin was tied for the longest train and was devastated when he came in 4th place. Lots of tears until I reminded him of banana cream pie and coupon books. This year I included things like 1 hour of Wii or computer time, 2 music practices could be missed, one day off from school, lunch with dad, date with mom, could grow out hair for one extra month, stay up late, sleepover with dad, and a few others. Last year they didn't even come close to using all their coupons which I think was a lesson learned as I did not agree to extend them beyond the expiration period (what's the point of that). So I predict that there will be a faster turnover this year.
We ended the night with family prayer and sleep over picks as we are out of school for President's Day......I picked Jared ;) It was a great night with the people I love most!
So after church and a little nap for me after the cry fest and resulting headache from being released from Primary today (a post of its own is forth coming about this event), we got dinner going. I did come down to find that Jared had prepped the salmon, set the table, and had his purple cabbage special ready to go which was a welcomed sight. What ensued next was the best part of being in this family..... the two older boys know how to cook and I'm not talking about simple dishes like pasta and sauce or breakfasts, oh no. Both Caleb and Liam are well beyond that and can google a recipe, follow the directions, and make some incredible dishes. At the moment Caleb is making his favorite breakfast: Ebelskivers and I never enter the kitchen until they are completely done! On Super Bowl Sunday Liam made pecan bars which I made last year for Thanksgiving, and we all agreed that his were much better than mine and I will admit that when I made them the following week for a funeral, I asked him some advice like if he packed the brown sugar or not. In the moment I seriously could not believe that I was asking my 10 year old for cooking advice. Yet, despite my best efforts, Liam's were still voted best and I had to swallow my pride! So today we all worked in the kitchen making the remaining parts of the meal: strawberry soup, cheese scones, and orzo with mixed veggies and fresh parmesan. Per the tradition, we ate by candlelight, laughed at silly things, talked about how much we love being in our family, and were surprised with secret notes from Jonah whose phonetic spelling is priceless! I can always tell when the loving feeling start to flow because Jonah can't stop hugging me....it's very tender!
After dinner we moved to the table to play a game of Ticket to Ride Europe, a game that will be remembered best by Liam or me winning, Jared asking a million times if people could be more quiet and stop banging their cards on the table or clicking the Kendama in his ear or making any number of other annoying sounds, laughing at said annoying sounds, someone crying because they didn't win (we have about a 90% hit rate with this), Jonah losing interest at some point and moving to the floor to be with Ruby or changing teams if he sees his first pick is not going to pull off a win, and waiting for Jared or Liam to get the big 8-train tunnel worth 21 points. Now, so as to not be confused as this image of family game night may sound horrible, it is not....all of these things are what make it a Harris game night and we love it! Liam correctly predicted at dinner that because of this feeling he had "deep down" that he would be the winner and I on the other hand did not share that feeling and I came in 3rd. Gavin was tied for the longest train and was devastated when he came in 4th place. Lots of tears until I reminded him of banana cream pie and coupon books. This year I included things like 1 hour of Wii or computer time, 2 music practices could be missed, one day off from school, lunch with dad, date with mom, could grow out hair for one extra month, stay up late, sleepover with dad, and a few others. Last year they didn't even come close to using all their coupons which I think was a lesson learned as I did not agree to extend them beyond the expiration period (what's the point of that). So I predict that there will be a faster turnover this year.
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| The "love" poster we had up for a few weeks |
Sunday, February 10, 2013
Tenure
The long and the short of it is that after moving to Charlottesville, Virginia almost 7 years ago, with four children under the age of six, in hopes of reaching the goal of academic tenure - that moment has finally arrived. On Tuesday of this past week Jared received an unscheduled knock on his door by the Dean of the Darden School, Bob Bruner, to inform Jared that he had indeed been recommended for tenure! We were all beyond thrilled and full of relief. As Gavin put it, "I can now take that off my worry-wort list"! Jonah wonders if this means we can get a barn and some longhorn cattle. I can only describe my resulting feelings as a heightened sense of permanence. For our entire marriage in the back of my mind I always knew we'd be moving on at some point and for the first time I feel completely settled. I love Charlottesville, always have, and cannot be more excited that I get to stay in this place that every day feels more and more like my final home, or at least my home for the indefinite, foreseeable future. I would be happy to raise my children here, grow old with Jared here, and scatter my ashes here when all is said and done. We all feel very blessed. Below is a not-so-quick description of what "getting to tenure" means that will likely get boring for some, but I need it written for record keeping's sake. Bear with me if you continue:
In 1997, after Jared and I got married in May and honeymooned for most of June and July in UT, CA, CO, OR, and AZ, we moved to Portland, Oregon where he would start at Coopers & Lybrand (one of the 'big 6' firms) as a tax accountant and I would start my year long dietetic internship at Oregon Health Sciences University. We lived in the Hawthorne District of SE Portland, one block off of Hawthorne Boulevard, right behind a Safeway parking lot, where a glance out our window would let us know how much time we had until we needed to grab the next bus into the city to make it on time to our respective jobs. But it was here, in that little 500 square foot apartment, that the quest for Tenure all began, though we just didn't know it yet.
I have a clear memory of sitting around our little oak dining table in our tiny dining nook, with plants growing in the corners on small stands and our hand-me-down furniture from Jared's parents' recent move nearly butting up to the dining table chairs. Jared reported over dinner that he had called an old professor at Ricks College to talk to him about what it would take to become a professor. What!? We hadn't really even settled into our new life in this new city with our new careers, and even though we were pathetically attached to each other and the 8-10 hour days apart were painfully long, I never dreamed we'd be having this conversation. Now Jared is one of the most optimistic people I know. But this new job as a tax consultant in a professional environment that rewarded (and at times expected) 70-90 billable hour work weeks and looked down upon taking Sundays off, was not was he was hoping to pursue for the long haul, despite his bosses giving him the "fast track to partner" green light. After two years of "associate" work, a merger with Price Waterhouse, a move into our first house on 67th Avenue SE, and a baby coming, he seized an opportunity to switch firms and tried his hand in a specialty consulting area (R & D tax credits) at the slightly-smaller Grant Thornton, and again quickly became a rising star. The grind-it-out mandatory hours were gone, but the traveling started and although exciting at first (Jared loves discovering new places) it got tiresome and he had the chance to pursue a different adventure: a move out to the East Coast, with me and baby Caleb in tow, to try his hand at an exciting high tech start-up company as their finance guy (www.vecna.com). This too was a great opportunity, and an opportunity to work closely with some terrific people. But throughout all of these ventures, in the back of his mind, was this nagging thought of being a professor, something we talked about periodically after that first conversation in our first tiny little Hawthorne Boulevard apartment. He felt being a professor would be an ideal fit for what he loved doing: reading, reasoning, writing and teaching and being able to be more self-directive with his time.
What was clear to him was that he didn't want another degree in accounting being that he already had his Masters and Bachelor's in that area, so the question was: what to study for the PhD? Someone (I think maybe his brother Jason, who was also thinking about academia as a career) suggested that a better plan might be whatever his favorite class was when he was at BYU. Turns out the answer to that question was easy: Business Ethics at the Marriott School of Management. So Jared figured, why not try his hand in that area? So the GMAT was taken and he surprised himself with a terrific score. Applications were sent off and he received offers from the Darden School of Business at UVA, the University of Washington, and the University of Minnesota's Carlson School. All three were great offers, but they varied widely in how they would prepare Jared. When we traveled to Charlottesville from our home in Maryland, where we were living at the time working for the start-up, we fell in love with Charlottesville. Looking back, I'm not sure what the exact draw was: maybe the smallness compared to the DC area, the beauty of all the forested hills which reminded us of Portland, the more easy-going nature of the people, I really don't know. But there was a feeling we both had and couldn't shake: we loved Charlottesville and wanted to live here, would love to raise our family here. We then made a decision to accept the offer from U of MN primarily because it seemed the best fit of the programs for Jared's PhD training, but also to in some small way to preserve the possibility of being able to come to Darden on a permanent basis after the PhD (a possibility that would likely not happen if he were trained there, as most schools don't hire their own PhD grads). The bottom line is that it was a gamble, as there was absolutely no way of knowing if there would be a position here when Jared finished his PhD, but we took the bet anyway.
So off to the midwest we went, two kids in tow... Liam (2 months old) Caleb (2 years old), and made a home in the 10,000 lakes of Minnesota. Amazingly, Jared picked the house to buy without me when Liam was 2 weeks old, and we ended up in the northern Twin Cities suburb of Brooklyn Park, in a ward I served in as a missionary! I got to rekindle friendships and build upon relationships with great people I taught and saw baptized years earlier. I was thrilled for this reason alone, but was also very happy to watch Jared's eyes - that have always twinkled - get even brighter; he was in his true element! It was here in MN that we made a poverty level of income, benefitted from state welfare programs gratefully, had two more boys, yet never seemed to feel pinched for things we wanted as we found great joy in the simpleness of life and made do with what we had. Now, like every one of his other pursuits, Jared excelled in the program and we walked away with a PhD in 4 years....a year faster than most of his colleagues, and amazingly enough, headed to our dream job at Darden. We pinched ourselves many times at the thought of being where we had only dared dream of those few years earlier.
Darden brought with it some more great opportunities for Jared to excel and he did just that. He was a great teacher, prolific publisher and co-author, and someone the school looked to for extra projects. We were feeling pretty good about getting a positive outcome when it came to tenure time. But then we had a very dear friend who was also a professor and up for tenure and he came up short. In a matter of hours I felt like Jared realized that this too could be our outcome and we were not sure we were up for such a decision. He was out of the house in the 5am hour that next Monday and this became his daily routine that continued for the next two years. Now to be clear, adding the 5am start time just pushed his efforts into the extreme level of exertion as he was already spending about 10 hours every day at the office. Now, for those who might think this sounds like a familiar tune....busy life....getting to a better place in the career ladder... concerned about all the what-ifs - - you are right, this is exactly how we felt, and there were times when I felt I really couldn't take the intensity of it all much longer. There were moments - and thank goodness it wasn't continual - when our relationship, our marriage, our capacity to keep going was pushed to the extremes and we both felt like we were hanging by a thread. There were days and days that would go by and the kids would not see Jared because he left before they woke and got home after they were in bed. There were times when the stress was so intense, the burdens so heavy, that simple conversations could not be had, tempers were quick, tongues were sharp. These were hard times, but times I would not trade back as I feel that Jared and I have become that much closer to becoming one, and for this I'm eternally grateful.
So it's been long road since that dinner-table conversation as newlyweds in 1997. And specifically, the last ten years (literally, no pun) have been filled with experiences from all extremes and everything in the middle. Yet in the midst of a hectic life we have managed to create great memories that are highlighted in our yearly Holiday letter and in my written journals. Life has been good for us and we feel deeply of the love God has for us and appreciative of the guidance we have received over the years. We are where we are supposed to be, doing what we are supposed to do and living the life we are intended to live. And we've had fun! We've had many great adventures together, had time to serve in church callings and coach some of the boys' sports teams and go to the beach and take road trips and camp in the mountains and visit foreign countries and see lots of school plays, and play lots of board games, and launch model rockets and laugh together. I would be remiss if I did not thank Jared for all of the Herculean effort he has made in creating a wonderful life for myself and the boys, all while accomplishing this great professional feat of earning tenure at a top university. Jared is a doer, and a finisher and I am in love with him!
Here is a a snippet from Jared's journal:
"One thing is clear: this is a massively difficult career path, and the risks and uncertainties can be overwhelming. I feel tremendously blessed that things have worked out so favorably, given how strongly the odds are stacked against success. I'm so grateful to have been watched over and guided and upheld - not only from the heavens but from Jodi and the boys. So many people to thank! Great advisors at Minnesota, terrific mentors at Darden, wonderful co-authors and colleagues, faithful supporters of all stripes. Folks not in the profession will never understand how unbelievably difficult it is, for example, to simply publish one paper in a top journal - it's truly excruciatingly difficult. But it's not just a decade of fighting with referees to publish this particular paper or that; there were so many stressful steps along the way, starting at the very beginning: getting accepted into a good program, making the right choice, passing comprehensive exams (the summer Gavin was born), passing dissertation proposal defense, competing in competitions and winning a few awards for my work, being recognized by the field at various conferences, venturing onto the job market (the year Jonah was born), interviewing, passing final dissertation defense, starting a new demanding job in a high-intensity environment like Darden's, successfully navigating re-appointment at the 3-year mark, and then - after all that - crossing the final evaluative hurdle of the tenure review. Ten years in the making, to get to this point! And at so many of those milestones, there were so many opportunities to get derailed, or fall short, or somehow divert a successful trajectory. It's not a high percentage career path. No wonder meeting with the Dean in my office on Tuesday was like having an outer-body experience. (Am I really having this conversation?) There is so much pressure at every step of the way, and it's so easy to miss a target or swing and miss - and after all that, after all these years of toil and labor and reading and writing and teaching, after all the countless early morning hours and late nights, after all the classes taught and papers rejected and papers accepted, after all these years of being supported and upheld by Jodi and watched over by Heavenly Father, one short conversation to tell me I've finally arrived."
So now ... we've arrived.
In 1997, after Jared and I got married in May and honeymooned for most of June and July in UT, CA, CO, OR, and AZ, we moved to Portland, Oregon where he would start at Coopers & Lybrand (one of the 'big 6' firms) as a tax accountant and I would start my year long dietetic internship at Oregon Health Sciences University. We lived in the Hawthorne District of SE Portland, one block off of Hawthorne Boulevard, right behind a Safeway parking lot, where a glance out our window would let us know how much time we had until we needed to grab the next bus into the city to make it on time to our respective jobs. But it was here, in that little 500 square foot apartment, that the quest for Tenure all began, though we just didn't know it yet.
I have a clear memory of sitting around our little oak dining table in our tiny dining nook, with plants growing in the corners on small stands and our hand-me-down furniture from Jared's parents' recent move nearly butting up to the dining table chairs. Jared reported over dinner that he had called an old professor at Ricks College to talk to him about what it would take to become a professor. What!? We hadn't really even settled into our new life in this new city with our new careers, and even though we were pathetically attached to each other and the 8-10 hour days apart were painfully long, I never dreamed we'd be having this conversation. Now Jared is one of the most optimistic people I know. But this new job as a tax consultant in a professional environment that rewarded (and at times expected) 70-90 billable hour work weeks and looked down upon taking Sundays off, was not was he was hoping to pursue for the long haul, despite his bosses giving him the "fast track to partner" green light. After two years of "associate" work, a merger with Price Waterhouse, a move into our first house on 67th Avenue SE, and a baby coming, he seized an opportunity to switch firms and tried his hand in a specialty consulting area (R & D tax credits) at the slightly-smaller Grant Thornton, and again quickly became a rising star. The grind-it-out mandatory hours were gone, but the traveling started and although exciting at first (Jared loves discovering new places) it got tiresome and he had the chance to pursue a different adventure: a move out to the East Coast, with me and baby Caleb in tow, to try his hand at an exciting high tech start-up company as their finance guy (www.vecna.com). This too was a great opportunity, and an opportunity to work closely with some terrific people. But throughout all of these ventures, in the back of his mind, was this nagging thought of being a professor, something we talked about periodically after that first conversation in our first tiny little Hawthorne Boulevard apartment. He felt being a professor would be an ideal fit for what he loved doing: reading, reasoning, writing and teaching and being able to be more self-directive with his time.
What was clear to him was that he didn't want another degree in accounting being that he already had his Masters and Bachelor's in that area, so the question was: what to study for the PhD? Someone (I think maybe his brother Jason, who was also thinking about academia as a career) suggested that a better plan might be whatever his favorite class was when he was at BYU. Turns out the answer to that question was easy: Business Ethics at the Marriott School of Management. So Jared figured, why not try his hand in that area? So the GMAT was taken and he surprised himself with a terrific score. Applications were sent off and he received offers from the Darden School of Business at UVA, the University of Washington, and the University of Minnesota's Carlson School. All three were great offers, but they varied widely in how they would prepare Jared. When we traveled to Charlottesville from our home in Maryland, where we were living at the time working for the start-up, we fell in love with Charlottesville. Looking back, I'm not sure what the exact draw was: maybe the smallness compared to the DC area, the beauty of all the forested hills which reminded us of Portland, the more easy-going nature of the people, I really don't know. But there was a feeling we both had and couldn't shake: we loved Charlottesville and wanted to live here, would love to raise our family here. We then made a decision to accept the offer from U of MN primarily because it seemed the best fit of the programs for Jared's PhD training, but also to in some small way to preserve the possibility of being able to come to Darden on a permanent basis after the PhD (a possibility that would likely not happen if he were trained there, as most schools don't hire their own PhD grads). The bottom line is that it was a gamble, as there was absolutely no way of knowing if there would be a position here when Jared finished his PhD, but we took the bet anyway.
So off to the midwest we went, two kids in tow... Liam (2 months old) Caleb (2 years old), and made a home in the 10,000 lakes of Minnesota. Amazingly, Jared picked the house to buy without me when Liam was 2 weeks old, and we ended up in the northern Twin Cities suburb of Brooklyn Park, in a ward I served in as a missionary! I got to rekindle friendships and build upon relationships with great people I taught and saw baptized years earlier. I was thrilled for this reason alone, but was also very happy to watch Jared's eyes - that have always twinkled - get even brighter; he was in his true element! It was here in MN that we made a poverty level of income, benefitted from state welfare programs gratefully, had two more boys, yet never seemed to feel pinched for things we wanted as we found great joy in the simpleness of life and made do with what we had. Now, like every one of his other pursuits, Jared excelled in the program and we walked away with a PhD in 4 years....a year faster than most of his colleagues, and amazingly enough, headed to our dream job at Darden. We pinched ourselves many times at the thought of being where we had only dared dream of those few years earlier.
 |
| UMN PhD Graduation with Norm Bowie, one of his advisors |
 |
| In action at Darden |
Here is a a snippet from Jared's journal:
"One thing is clear: this is a massively difficult career path, and the risks and uncertainties can be overwhelming. I feel tremendously blessed that things have worked out so favorably, given how strongly the odds are stacked against success. I'm so grateful to have been watched over and guided and upheld - not only from the heavens but from Jodi and the boys. So many people to thank! Great advisors at Minnesota, terrific mentors at Darden, wonderful co-authors and colleagues, faithful supporters of all stripes. Folks not in the profession will never understand how unbelievably difficult it is, for example, to simply publish one paper in a top journal - it's truly excruciatingly difficult. But it's not just a decade of fighting with referees to publish this particular paper or that; there were so many stressful steps along the way, starting at the very beginning: getting accepted into a good program, making the right choice, passing comprehensive exams (the summer Gavin was born), passing dissertation proposal defense, competing in competitions and winning a few awards for my work, being recognized by the field at various conferences, venturing onto the job market (the year Jonah was born), interviewing, passing final dissertation defense, starting a new demanding job in a high-intensity environment like Darden's, successfully navigating re-appointment at the 3-year mark, and then - after all that - crossing the final evaluative hurdle of the tenure review. Ten years in the making, to get to this point! And at so many of those milestones, there were so many opportunities to get derailed, or fall short, or somehow divert a successful trajectory. It's not a high percentage career path. No wonder meeting with the Dean in my office on Tuesday was like having an outer-body experience. (Am I really having this conversation?) There is so much pressure at every step of the way, and it's so easy to miss a target or swing and miss - and after all that, after all these years of toil and labor and reading and writing and teaching, after all the countless early morning hours and late nights, after all the classes taught and papers rejected and papers accepted, after all these years of being supported and upheld by Jodi and watched over by Heavenly Father, one short conversation to tell me I've finally arrived."
So now ... we've arrived.
Friday, February 1, 2013
Happy Birthday Grandma
Today my Grandma Knight turns 92 years old and lets be honest, that's a lot of years to be alive. Here she is with the boys this past summer:
Here are a few things that I remember about her:
Her cozy house with carpet throughout, always very clean even down to the baseboards. Her strong hands and well manicured nails.....I knew if I sat down next to her, I'd get a back rub/scratch and I might have to ask her to ease up a bit! Picking gooseberries and rhubarb in her yard. Seeing her with her blue umbrella at my softball games in her stylish outfits....she always looked sharp. Then there was Sunday Dinner once or maybe twice a month with roast beef (which I never ate because I don't and didn't like beef), homemade wheat bread with butter, coleslaw that kept true to her German heritage and had no mayo, buts lots of vinegar, salt and pepper. By the way, it wasn't until I was married and had a Cuisinart to prepare my slaw in seconds that I appreciated the fact that she chopped all that cabbage by hand and the pieces were just as uniform as mine......pretty remarkable actually. But the best part of the meal for me was the gravy with tons of mushrooms and many times they were Morel mushrooms that she had gathered herself or my parents brought to her. Divine!
Now, a quick bit about Morel mushrooms that sell for well beyond $20 an ounce (dried) at this point. When I was young we would head out many a Spring to hunt for these morsels and to me it was mysterious and magical at the same time. My parents had their secret spots to hunt and when we reached the limit of the surroundings I recognized, I knew we were getting closer. The woods were always quiet and my parents too said very little (this was not unusual, actually, at least for Dad). They constantly looked down, under logs, at bases of pines, aspens or oaks, and then one of them would brush away a pile of leaves to uncover these tiny tree-looking mushrooms. I was shocked at how they could know that that particular pile of leaves which looked so completely benign and lacking any hint of treasure would reveal such a find. On a good day we would come home with paper bags filled and on a not so good day we'd get maybe one bag which was still enough to make my mouth water. My parents still hunt for mushrooms and last year they sent me a bottle of dried morels! I used them sparingly and now have about a dozen small ones left, but being that I was a good mom and shared the entire jar with my children, who also love them, I think I might have to savor these last ones alone!
The other memory that I have of Grandma is sitting at her round kitchen table when I was in my early 20's and reading aloud over her dad's calendar which also served as a journal of sorts. He was brief and factual with words like: rained, Sunday service, to town for supplies, current temps, Roland and Bernice here (his daughter and son in law), and then on the day Grandma was born nearly 12 years after her next sibling, it says: "baby born". My Grandma has always been a little hard to read as she tends to put on the face that she thinks you want to see and I have always struggled with that, but on this night, she let her guard down. She walked back in her mind to that childhood home, to those people she could feel, the house she could still smell, to those memories that at this point come back to her more easily than what she had for breakfast a few hours earlier. And for the first time in my life with her she was real to me, and I am forever grateful that I stopped by her house on that night and was able to walk away with a connection to her I never expected I would find.
 |
| Grannie Knight and the boys. August 2012 |
Here are a few things that I remember about her:
Her cozy house with carpet throughout, always very clean even down to the baseboards. Her strong hands and well manicured nails.....I knew if I sat down next to her, I'd get a back rub/scratch and I might have to ask her to ease up a bit! Picking gooseberries and rhubarb in her yard. Seeing her with her blue umbrella at my softball games in her stylish outfits....she always looked sharp. Then there was Sunday Dinner once or maybe twice a month with roast beef (which I never ate because I don't and didn't like beef), homemade wheat bread with butter, coleslaw that kept true to her German heritage and had no mayo, buts lots of vinegar, salt and pepper. By the way, it wasn't until I was married and had a Cuisinart to prepare my slaw in seconds that I appreciated the fact that she chopped all that cabbage by hand and the pieces were just as uniform as mine......pretty remarkable actually. But the best part of the meal for me was the gravy with tons of mushrooms and many times they were Morel mushrooms that she had gathered herself or my parents brought to her. Divine!
Now, a quick bit about Morel mushrooms that sell for well beyond $20 an ounce (dried) at this point. When I was young we would head out many a Spring to hunt for these morsels and to me it was mysterious and magical at the same time. My parents had their secret spots to hunt and when we reached the limit of the surroundings I recognized, I knew we were getting closer. The woods were always quiet and my parents too said very little (this was not unusual, actually, at least for Dad). They constantly looked down, under logs, at bases of pines, aspens or oaks, and then one of them would brush away a pile of leaves to uncover these tiny tree-looking mushrooms. I was shocked at how they could know that that particular pile of leaves which looked so completely benign and lacking any hint of treasure would reveal such a find. On a good day we would come home with paper bags filled and on a not so good day we'd get maybe one bag which was still enough to make my mouth water. My parents still hunt for mushrooms and last year they sent me a bottle of dried morels! I used them sparingly and now have about a dozen small ones left, but being that I was a good mom and shared the entire jar with my children, who also love them, I think I might have to savor these last ones alone!
.jpg) |
| "Divinely Celestial Delectable Treats" -a phrase a friend & I made up in High School |
Happy Birthday Grandma, I love you!
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